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Leadership: New, Old, or Just What Works?
By
Ed Rigsbee, CSP, CAE
(2048
words)
Ultimately,
regardless of our situation as leader, manager, supervisor, or employee,
we are all looking for a return on our investment (ROI). If you invest a
few moments reading this article, I guarantee you a return. You will
receive at least one idea that you can implement immediately.
Like
you, I have put in countless hours of windshield time listening to
leadership and employee motivation gurus on tape, CD, and MP3. Unlike you
perhaps; I personally know many of these influencers. Like you, I have
attended numerous conferences, sat in on a myriad of keynotes, seminars,
and workshops. Unlike you perhaps; I have also been the speaker at many of
these, around the globe, meetings.
I
believe there are a number of ageless truths that are applicable to anyone
who attempts to successfully lead others. Good ideas are ageless, while
continually emerging flavor-of-the-month leadership and management
strategies fade without concern or impunity.
Have
you ever wondered who influences the influencers? In my 20+ years of
serving the world marketplace as an author, consultant, facilitator,
keynoter, and seminar leader, there have been many that have left their
indelible mark on me. I’ll talk about some of them as we progress.
Before that I’d like to share with you some of the ideas that form the
foundation of my work.
“Perception;
the conversation I have with myself about you, is my reality.”
“Focus
on getting things done rather than to obsess on being right.”
“Make
your relationship bank deposits before you attempt to take withdrawals.”
At
just about every public presentation I give, I make the above points. I
believe these to be immutable truths for anyone that leads, manages, or
follows.
“Perception;
the conversation I have with myself about you, is my reality.”
Have
you ever wished you could be a fly on the wall and listen to what your
team, boss, or employees say about you? Be honest now—sure you have.
Regardless of how you see yourself, it is how others see you determine how
they feel about you. This can be a disastrous dynamic for any leader. This
dynamic applies to partners, investors, suppliers, customers, and
employees. In all situations a leader must know how he or she is
perceived. This will frequently be either the deal maker or the deal
breaker.
My
good friend of over 20 years, Dr. Terry Paulson, is the author of several
management and leadership books, his latest The
Optimism Advantage, frequently shares the following idea with his
audiences and is an idea for which I’ll always remember him. “If
someone calls you a horse’s rear end (ass), ignore them. However, if
several people call you a horse’s rear end (ass), perhaps it’s time
for you to buy a saddle?” It is good to be honest with yourself.
For
years I have used a quotation from Sun Tzu, author of, The
Art of War; written about 2,500 years ago.
I have found this quotation to be applicable in many situations and for
many persons.
“If
you know the enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the result of
a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every
victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the
enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
For
just about every leadership or management situation, challenge, or
conflict you can simply take out “enemy” and insert the person, group,
or situation and the quotation makes perfect sense and is a sure strategy
for your success. It’s old, and it just works.
I
realize your next thought might be, “Thanks Ed, but how to I get to know
my ‘enemy’ or insert here: person, group, or situation?” I have two
ideas for you that have continually prove successful for my clients.
Relationship
Value Update
This
is something that I synthesized from years of interviewing successful
alliance leaders—the idea of extracting from others how they feel about
a particular business relationship. Many large companies go to
extraordinary lengths to gain, process, and understand this relationship
perception information; you can do it much more simply. Many organizations
will do something similar with their customers or suppliers and the term
that is generally used is scorecard or report card. You can use this both
internally and externally.
For
a simple Relationship Value Update there are three necessary elements:
-
The
value you/your company receive from this relationship.
-
The
value you believe I/my company receives from this relationship.
-
Ideas
for relationship improvement.
The
method for use is: (a) put these three elements to paper, and the other
person or organization to do the same. (b) Complete your update
independent of the other. (c) Transmit or mail to the other, as the other
also transmits theirs to you. (d) After each has reviewed, then have a
face to face meeting to discuss differences and strategies for
improvement. (e) Do this quarterly if possible.
The
3 on 3
I
learned this idea from Patricia Fripp over 20 years ago, have used it and
have taught it—and many have reported back their success in using it. To
find out what another thinks, simply ask them. The process is as follows:
-
Have
this meeting in a neutral environment.
-
Ask
the person to share with you three things, which they do not care for
about the way you (manage them, work for them, sell to them, buy from
them, etc.)
-
Your
only comment to each thing they share with you is, “Thank you.”
You do not justify or explain yourself. You may ask a question if you
do not understand what they are saying or need additional information
to better understand. Remember,
all you say is, “Thank you.”
-
After
they share the three negative, ask them to share three positive
things—things they like about the way you (manage them, work for
them, sell to them, buy from them, etc.) Again, all you say is,
“Thank you.”
-
At
the end of your meeting tell the person that you’ll get back with
them in a week or two, whatever works best, and you will have some
ideas on how to use the information that they gave you.
-
No
matter what—have that second meeting in the prescribed passage of
time, no longer. Tell them what you have put in place, changed,
implemented, etc. Letting the other person know what you have done
with their information goes a long way to improve the conversation
they have with themselves about you, and your business relationship.
“Focus
on getting things done rather than to obsess on being right.”
Would
you like to better motivate the people around you? Great; give up the idea
that you always have to me right. For years, in just about all my public
presentations, I have been conducting a simple exercise. If you are
willing, let’s do it:
1.
Understand this, in human
conflict, humans operate from one of two emotional places; dug in on their
position or trying to understand the other.
2.
Think about a recent argument that
you had; at home, at work, wherever.
3.
See the other person in that
argument, were they being difficult and unreasonable?
4.
See yourself, were you operating
from a place of being right…or from trying to understand the other?
5.
If you said you were being right,
I believe you. If you said that you were tiring to understand the other, I
have one question. How could you of been trying to understand if you were
arguing?
Generational
and Cultural Issues
We
are living in an interesting time; a lousy economy, high unemployment, and
huge generational differences among workers. Sounds like a perfect storm.
Really, it is a perfect opportunity—an opportunity to move forward by
getting off the idea of being right and embracing the idea of
understanding the generational and cultural issues of the persons with
which you work, lead or follow. If you are a baby boomer, as are many of
today’s business leaders, the GenX and the GenY most likely do drive you
a bit crazy.
The
GenX folks saw their parents get shafted during the “rightsizing”
movement of the 90s. It is difficult for them to believe you when you tell
them to keep their nose to the grindstone and they will have a bright
future with your company. The GenY folks grew up with technology in such a
way that it is ingrained into their personality DNA. You cannot BS them,
they have the technological capability to effectively “check” whatever
you say.
Now
throw into the mix, the sear number of Hispanic (mostly from
Mexico
) immigrants in
America
and Islamic immigrants worldwide and you are dealing with a huge paradigm
shift. The reality is simple; you do not know people like you think you
know people. For the traditional white, black, and Asian Americans dealing
with Hispanic employees I highly suggest my good friend, Carlos Conejo’s
book titled, Motivating Hispanic
Employees. This is the best, bar none, book available today on
motivating Hispanic employees.
“Make
your relationship bank deposits before you attempt to take withdrawals.”
Our
world has givers and takers. Giving and taking needs a balance; to take
someone has to give and to give, someone has to receive. While there is
really nothing wrong with taking, in a business environment you will build
quality relationships faster if you give before you try to take. Giving is
a relationship bank deposit and taking is a withdrawal.
My
long-time friend, Robert B. Tucker, is the author of several books on
innovation. In many of his keynotes and seminars he talks about how to
take an idea to the point of implementation or production. He uses the
analogy of a conveyer belt carrying your idea but continually on the left
and right of the belt are influences trying to knock your idea off the
belt. You cannot just place it on the belt and expect it to get where it
needs to go. He says that you have to be diligent in protecting your idea
to get it to that point of implementation or production. I call this,
making your relationship bank deposits. Withdrawals come later—not the
other way around.
For
years I have used a Ziggy cartoon in my seminars to make the point of
relationship bank deposits first. Visualize Ziggy with a dejected look on
his face, standing next to the bank teller. She has just handed him back
his withdrawal slip with a “REJECT” stamped on it. The caption states,
“…Try not to think of it as
overdrawn…we prefer to think of it as underdeposited…”
If
you want to receive, and who in business doesn’t want a return on their
investment, probably the best book available to help you make the smart
and most effective “deposits” is Influence:
The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D. In his book
he covers: weapons of influence; reciprocation; commitment and
consistency; social proof; liking; authority; and scarcity—detailing for
you how to use each tool to influence others, or as I would put it, making
relationship bank deposits.
Don’t
Eat the Marshmallow…Yet! This
book written by my friend of many years, Dr. Joachim de Posada, is
awesome. The book about the benefit of delayed gratification, what I would
also call; relationship bank deposits first. While the book has sold
millions of copies internationally, Joachim has also traveled the world
giving lectures based on the ideas. The concept of delayed gratification
is one that is embraced throughout the world. I highly suggest you too
consider delaying the gratification of relationship bank withdrawals until
after you make your deposits.
I
could write volumes about the people, books, and ideas that have
influenced me but what I believe might be important to you are the ideas I
gleaned and have influenced me to attempt to influence you. Before you
jump to the newest flavor-of-the-month leadership strategy, first take
stock of what you already know but might not have used lately. Look at
what used to work and ask why you no longer use it. New ideas are just
fine, yet be mindful of what has proven to be successful in the past.
Wishing you the best of success…
Copyright
2010-2013 Ed Rigsbee
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Ed
Rigsbee, Certified Speaking Professional, travels internationally to
deliver keynote presentations and workshops on strategic alliance ROI and
effective partnering relationships. Ed has authored three books; PartnerShift,
Developing Strategic Alliances, and The
Art of Partnering. He also has over 2,000 published articles to his
credit. Additionally, Ed finds time to serve as the CEO and Executive
Director of a (501 c 3) public, non-profit charity. Ed’s forthcoming
book, Want More Members, Give ‘em
More ROI is due to be released in 2013. Ed has been successfully
navigating his way through the organizational mazes of for-profits and
non-profits for over four decades, he has been an observer, researcher,
and teacher; helping organizations of all sizes to build successful
internal and external collaborative relationships. Contact Ed, get
additional (no charge) resources, or to view Ed’s videos & blogs,
please visit www.Rigsbee.com
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